Labor Day Irony

It seemed weird that I had to cancel a meeting today that I scheduled for Labor Day. Apparently people don't actually engage in labor on Labor Day. It seemed ironic rather than appropriate because I was under the impression that it was designed to mark social and economic achievements of American workers. What better way to honor ourselves than to roll up our shirtsleeves and forge ahead to increase our nation's competitive edge and salient market resources.

Then someone reminded me that it is a day designed by Labor (note captial "L") to honor the American Federation of Labor. Now it all makes sense and seems appropriate. If the basis is organized labor unions then the Labor Day hallmarks of sleeping, drinking and eating doughnuts during normal business hours is normal. The holiday simply expands normal overcompensated sloth to that of complete inactivity.

I will be working on Labor Day and will make some progress. I'll be one step ahead of you donut-eating late sleepers.

RIGHT! again!

If you peek back to Elvis Death Day, August 16, you will see that I successfully and accurately debunked the bogus claims of John Mark Karr, the dude that claimed to accidentally kill Jon Benet Ramsey. As I noted, her killer is not coming foward any time soon, because she is dead.

A short analysis of the NWO postings reveals acknowledgment of fishy stories within hours of their surfacing. As the media falls over itself chasing kooks and runaway brides, I write down that it is crap, long before most believe it is.

Psychic? Hardly. Analysis of human tendencies and habits makes this a cinch. Idiots by definition are not smart enough to pull off their ranging allegations.

Your God Makes People Suffer

Yesterday I hit the "next blog" button one time and only one time. I was transported through cyberspace to a happy place, a page ironically called "Live in the Real World". No, it was not some spoiled brat from MTV's account of their 2 months without mommy and daddy, instead it was the chloroform of a confirmed Christian, justifying why their beliefs are so. It is self affirmation-- "Maybe if I say the sky isn't blue enough others will believe it is red".

She posed the question, "Does God make us suffer to teach us?" I read her arguments, based closely from scripture and her interpretations. I then commented with my two cents.

Unfortunately, like most Christians, such thought-provking differences in opinion are not even considered, and my response was not posted to her page. Why? Because she can't answer it, and neither can her lousy book of myth and lies.

Since she won't post my comments, I'll post her entry here, followed by my comment. You may feel compelled to chime in at http://liveintherealworld.blogspot.com/.

HER ENTRY...

Does God make us suffer to teach us?

For Christians, the question is, which kind of suffering--persecution for Jesus or the trials of living in the world? The Bible tells us “…we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character; and character, hope. (Romans 5:3,4) The character building kind of suffering to which the New Testament refers the is not disease or other maladies that may result from poor diets, lack of exercise, selfishness, reckless driving, addictions and other versions of choosing our own way. Instead, it referred to persecution for being a Christian, which was prevalent throughout the Roman Empire (and in many parts of the world today). Christians were insulted, their property confiscated, they were imprisoned, flogged, tortured and executed. Jesus said it would happen and none should be surprised since the world treated Him with contempt. This is the kind that should be embraced and rejoiced in because those who endure it will fellowship in Jesus’ sufferings and be rewarded in heaven. (Luke 6:22,23) Even so, Jesus didn’t submit to suffering until the time was right and Paul was always outrunning some murderous plot. They didn’t look for trouble or automatically give in.

We get into problems when we confuse the two kinds of “suffering”. Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble, but take heart I have overcome the world!” (John 16:33) Yes, we’ve have everyday troubles since Adam and Eve sinned, some of them horrible but these aren’t the ones to be happy about—they’re the ones to get rid of! Some of them we “earned” but we don’t have to “suffer the consequences”. You don’t have to carry them; Jesus already paid the price for our sins and sicknesses. Yes, physical ailments too!
Matt 8:17
16When evening came, many who were demon-possessed were brought to him, and he drove out the spirits with a word and healed all the sick. 17This was to fulfill what was spoken through the prophet Isaiah: "He took up our infirmities and carried our diseases." (emphasis added)

Father gives good gifts to His children who ask Him! (Matthew 7: 9-11) Many Christians have been duped into believing that their serious illnesses are a “blessing from God”. That kind of thinking fills cemeteries! Does God make the most of every situation? Absolutely! (Romans 8:28) Does God cause the suffering? No, the devil came to steal, kill and destroy but Jesus came to give us abundant life!

Western thinking has mixed Christianity with pagan Greek mythology, which has it that Pandora was, “given a gift of pain and sorrow for men from every Olympian god” as a punishment. (Redeeming Creation Van Dyke, et al. emphasis added) This kind of thinking paralyzes and keeps our time, attention, energy and resources focused on dealing with illnesses and other trials when we could be out doing the kinds of things for which we might be truly persecuted. The Lord is willing to deliver you from your troubles—just ask! (Psalm 34:19; James 4:2)

MY RETORT:

Sorry, can't buy it. Watching people suffer convinced me that there is no god. When religious people in my family were ill and everyone prayed, god didn't answer. They suffered horrifying deaths. When we needed help to save a child in need, god looked the other way.

When brave men and women rushed into a tower to save 2500 people trapped in firey smoke, god let that other plane hit the other tower and let both towers fall. The prayers of 3000 people, their families, and a nation went unanswered.

The worst part is, the terrorists did it to appease God. Go figure.

To me, I prayed. I asked for help, I asked for intervention. It never came. If there is a god I hate him for his shitty customer service record.

Since I stopped believing in some higher power and started solving my own problems things have been much better. I am in charge. God lets the kids starve, the poorest rot in the street. He makes our children stupid with religious lies and makes our nation weak as we clamour and fight over myth.

There is no God. The sooner we accept it and start treating each other well, maybe the world would change in a way Jesus Christ would be proud of.

Caught Whistling Gay Song

Sometimes a song gets locked in my head. Like a metastatic audio arachnoid tumor it grabs hold in my subconscious and refuses to leave. It lasts until I go to sleep and let succubus occupy my RAM with more useful trivia.

The worst one was when I was in grad school and I was going down the hall with a big dewer of liquid nitrogen singing, "Livin' la vida loca...". I turned the corner right into a professor that hated me, spilling liquid frostbite and rambling through a Ricky Martin song.

It happens all the time, but today takes the cake. I was working in the lab, by myself, so I thought. I was whistling the John Basedow theme, "Fitness made simple... made for real people... da da da", when I realized that someone was now working behind me. I started into the Star Spangled Banner or some other song to hide the fact that I was actually whistling that lame commercial's song.

It didn't work. She said, "So you like that commercial too?"

People, be careful. The song that gets stuck in your head is like a bad fart-- it only will come out when you don't want it to and when it will have the most negative impact.

Pork and a Kiss Airlines

I am often stymied by the brilliance of Penn Jillette, absorbed from podcasts of this daily radio show. Last week he proposed "Pork and a Kiss" airlines. The concept was rather brilliant.

At a security checkpoint all travelers would have to kiss, on the lips, a security agent of the same sex, followed by consumption of a small shred of pork. Completion of these two acts would gain one access to the airline.

This would ensure against acts of Islamic terrorism. Terrorists are allegedly working to gain favor with Allah by attacking the infidels, gaining them a permanent place in a cushy afterlife. HOWEVER, consumption of pork or homosexual acts are so condemned that they would make the terrorist the infidel, erasing the justification for the terrorist act itself! Brilliant.

It is fighting silly ideology with silly ideology. Something so convoluted as killing innocent people to please your god is just as convoluted as fearing everlasting reprisal for eating a speck of pig and pecking someone of the same sex on the lips.

Of course, if there really was an almighty Islamic (or Christian for that matter) god that wanted to readjust human behavior wouldn't he/she/it just do it? Heck, it can make a universe in a few days, why not just cleanse the infidels and give your followers free run?

That would be too easy. If believers really believed in an almighty that could invoke powers beyond our comprehension then they'd see that it really is all up to us-- and we're doing a shitty job of taking care of each other.

Duh? Or What?

Yup, I'm right.

A child molester moving to Bangkok is a pretty clear admission of trouble (Say Bangkok 10 times fast in front of your grandma and see if she doesn't slap the Farina out of your mouth). Bangkok has the secret connotation and draw to child porn afficionados that the Patriot Act has for rednecks.

That dude completely did not molest JBR. He's useless. Someone else is really guilty. Look at his confession. Follow the money. There's your killer.

Jon Benet -- Still Dead, Just Like Her Killer

First of all, it is Elvis Death Day so expect weirdness.

Second of all, you might recall my abilty to see through the bullshit of human weirdness, as documented by the predcition of a false kidnapping story by the Runaway Bride Jennifer Whatserface. Go ahead, dig through my archives. I nailed it.

Today someone was arrested, the alleged killer of pre-pubescent freaky beauty queen Jon Benet Ramsey. However, he could not be the actual killer. This just smells funny, funnier than it smelled with JB's parents insulated themselves with lawyers and hid from questions concerning their daughter's untimely death.

You heard it here first, this guy is not the killer. The killer ain't talkin.

Free Toiletries, a Silver Lining

Today is the day that some dickheads planned to blow up a plane, and it was the same day I got to travel by air. No big deal to me, I just wanted to get home.

However, the complete shitstorm that met me at the airport was insane. I showed up 3 hours early at Boston's Logan Airport. Signs said, "No liquids, deodorants, toothpaste, perfume, etc." It was announced by TSA agents every two minutes and spelled clearly on placards every 5 feet.

Still, every asshole had liquids, deodorants, toothpaste, perfume etc, in their carry on bags all the way up to the front of the security line.

Ironically, it was the first evidence that airline travelers used deodorant and toothpaste, so a small victory there.

So every asshole has their toiletries confiscated and they move on to the gate. There we are checked again upon boarding. TSA agents find more stuff... this sucks for two reasons. One, that the idiots that were told to leave it still have it, and two, that the TSA agents didn't catch it. Smooth.

Now I'm tired and mad. My flights are delayed and people are angry. One bitch is going apeshit because she had her eyeliner taken. Another is upset because TSA took the bottle of water she just bought in the airport. I don't know for sure, but I'll bet you dollars to donuts that the most vocal complainers about this policy also have BUSH/CHENEY 2004 stickers still on their SUV's. Just a guess.

I sat on runways longer than I was in the air, waited forever for a connecting flight and finally got back to Jacksonville at 3AM, 5 hours late, but not blowed up. Of course, my luggage was not there, but that happens even when some jerkass terrorist does't threaten to wreck the plane, so it was anticipated.

No worries. The garbage cans held a plethora of needed toiletries. I found 12 deodorants, a can of shaving cream, tons of toothpaste, floss, more hair gel than I could shake a stick at and some whitening paste. Most of it was almost unused!

Since my luggage was lost i was all worked up about not getting my stuff. Big deal. Another trip to the Sal Army gets my clothes back, only clean. The toiletries are the big bucks, the grand expense in my life, and now I gots plenty.

Terror is in the eye of the beholder. If you don't give a shit then terrorism does not work. In fact, a sunny attitude might stop it altogether. Thanks terrorists. You have made me powdered, perfumed and minty.

Hiatus

No time to write, traveling. Again. More soon.