CNN and FOX NEWS report...

An earthquake in Indonesia has killed over 4,500 people.

and...

In the remote Namibian village of Walvis Bay Hollywood supercouple Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, together known as "Bradgelina", are proud parents of a new baby girl. They have elected to bestow the moniker of "Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt" on the infant. The two are hidden in seclusion for the birth of the child, hiding from the always present cameras and crews of the American media, as they try to get a valuable photo of the newborn.

Jolie reportedly took a shine to Namibia, better known for dunes and diamonds, while filming the movie "Beyond Borders". She is a frequent visitor to Africa and is a Goodwill Ambassador for the U.N. High Commissioner for Refugees.

The couple have been staying in a sealed off beach resort in the tiny village of Langstrand and it was unclear if the child had been delivered there or at one of the private hospitals in the nearby towns of Walvis Bay and Swakopmund.

Local residents in the Walvis Bay, shrouded in fog on Sunday morning, were thrilled by the celebrity birth.

"It's great ... She has put us on the map. It is a great thing," said resident Della van Noorten.

Another resident, who asked not to be named, was also very happy but told the media to lay off.

"I am happy for her -- and leave them alone," the resident said.

Pitt, 42, met Jolie in 2004 while they were working together on the film "Mr and Mrs Smith," in which they played married assassins ordered to kill each other. The movie ends with them still alive and happily married.

Representatives for Jolie and Pitt could not be immediately reached for comment.

Jolie already has two adopted children -- son Maddox, 4, and daughter Zahara, who is about 15 months old.

The couple's stay in Namibia spurred a local media frenzy with increasingly wild and unconfirmed stories including suggestions that the new baby would be named by an African chief or delivered underwater in a "water birth".

Green cloth screens mask the beach resort where they are staying and bodyguards and Namibian security have kept a tight cordon around them, hounding some journalists out of town.

Photographers from all over the world have come to the area hoping to capture the first picture of the baby, which is expected to garner a multimillion-dollar price tag.

In a sign of media fascination with the pair, "New York" magazine recently said the baby was the most anticipated since Jesus and would be more newsworthy than the recent birth of a daughter to Hollywood stars Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.

A South African photographer was arrested on Wednesday for the second time after he was caught on private property trying to snap a picture of Pitt and Jolie.

Jolie, who won an Academy Award as best supporting actress for playing a psychiatric patient in "Girl, Interrupted," was divorced from actor Billy Bob Thornton in 2003. Before that she was married to actor Jonny Lee Miller.

Pitt, a heart-throb famed for his looks and roles in movies such as "Fight Club" and "A River Runs Through It," and "Friends" star Jennifer Aniston were divorced last year.

DaVinci Code Controversy

Two geeks stood toe to toe, each waiting for the other to flinch. Starring eye to eye through coke-bottle-bottomed glasses the two former straight "A" students sought to settle their deep disagreement with fisticuffs. They breathed slowly, each fueled by an internal anger stoked by previous discussion that could only be resolved in physical struggle.

Time would reveal that one guy was pissed off because the other claimed that Star Trek's Captain Kirk was a cold-blooded killer. He claimed that Kirk would blow up peaceful civilization and innocent juvenilles with photon torpedoes and phasers, whereas the mission of the Enterprise was a peaceful one. For this reason he thought Jean Luc Pickard was a much better ambassador and that the original series was wrong. Certainly the Starfleet Academy would not approve of such resolutions!

My pen could not write fast enough to capture the escalation of the conflict, but it was purely freakish behavior-- two grown men ready to hurt each other over fiction.

When I listen to local right-wing radio I have heard nothing but criticism of the Davinci Code, a new movie that apparently portrays Jesus in a manner that is inconsistent with what many Christians believe. Callers have issued boycotts and some even suggest physical injury or ill will upon Tom Hanks, the lead actor. There is a frenzy, a frightened group, backed into a corner by a story.

Talk about thin faith! Christians are so weak. Their deep faith is so challenged by an admitted work of fiction that they are up in arms and ready for war-- over a stupid movie that sucks.

However, as art, the movie succeeds. It takes something that people cherish and use it as a vehicle to provoke thinking and discussion. This is perfect because the Bible and religion do not endorse thinking and discussion, as these may threaten its dominance and steadfast stranglehold on believers' brains.

To me, it is a work of fiction that has criticized a work of fiction, and it has now affected reality. Just as two losers get ready to physically pummel each other over discrepancies identified between "Star Trek" and the "The Next Generation", the controversy over absolutely nothing stirs society.

WWJD? He'd probably shut up, get the giant popcorn, see the movie and enjoy it for what it was-- fiction.

Did The Terrorists Win?

Our president would say that we are winning The War Against Terror (TWAT). Anyone contesting this position certainly wouldn't be a patriot.

However, what are the goals of the terrorists? If you believe most that offer an answer that they hate our freedom. They want us to share the oppression that they face living under their respective regimes.

They made us change. They changed the way we travel. They changed how we as a nation perceive government intrusion into our private affairs. They changed what we consider liberty.

As we give away our freedoms on a daily basis, who is really winning the war?

HILTONs = Burn in Fucking Hell

It does not take extreme inspection of this blog to realize that I hate Paris Hilton and all that that useless scum queen stands for. Now I call for an all out boycott of Hilton hotels.

That useless piece of crap alone is grounds for boycott. She's famous because she's nobody, nobody other than some rich slut that happened to sprout from between the legs of people with money in a country where brave people died to allow her mother to sprout a rich slut. Period. She could use her platform for good, but she chooses to use it for self promotion and expansion of the Hilton Empire.

And you, reader, just eat it up.

Well now I would like to hold her and her fucking family accountable. Yes, let me, some scum clown from rual Florida be the first.

Every Friday combat, stub-legged veteran Jim Mayer offers free steak dinners to the recently combat injured at Fran O'Brien's, his Washington DC restaurant. Here they gain from the commaradarie fostered only from a brotherhood of being physically damaged from a wrong and corrupt war. These are brave people that should be elevated to the highest honor in our culture. They did it, whether or not we agree with it, because they were told to.

They lost legs, arms, fingers and hands to improvised explosives and attacks from insurgents. They were honored, one of every seven days at Meyer's restaurant in the basement of the Capitol Hilton.

After requesting a 5-year renewal on their lease, the Capitol Hilton said no. They didn't want to build the wheel chair lift, a mechanism that would have cost them the total of Paris' tip to the limo driver. The restaurant lease was not renewed.

Fuck Hilton. People, we have to not only NEVER stay at a Hilton, we need to make reservations we don't keep. We need to shun that royal bunch of A-holes. Even if she's naked don't look.

More importantly, we need to give comfort to those that served, especially if we don't agree with the war. They are putting their asses on the line for a lie. Everyone knows it at this point, including most of them. They've been screwed too.

Is there any chance that we can hold a multi-state dinner to honor vets? Not animal doctors. Can we somehow glue enough support together to coordinate a meaninful thank you? All you My Space assholes should chime in. Instead of thinking "what can the internet do for me" start thinking "what can I do for those that served"?

The "Atheist's Nightmare"

If you haven't seen the video of Jesus freak Kurt Cameron and his buddy that looks like Sonny Bono with Down's Syndrome, check it out here..

The two present the banana, aka "The Atheist's Nightmare", as proof of Intelligent Design. Their argument is that the banana fits the human hand and is made for human consumption. They indicate the its perfect container and edibility are PROOF of creationism.

I am so glad that the creationists are so stupid, as they make my dissemination of facts so much more easy. In its natural state, the members of the banana family (Musa) are generally inedible. The original is small, full of hard seeds, with hard flesh. What we consider as a modern day banana is the outcome of many years of careful breeding, by humans. Nowadays, induced mutations have shaped the germplasm.

In other words, scientists took the substandard crap that was given to us by an alleged creator and made something useful from it. Again, "intelligent" design isn't so intelligent, and humans have to fix it.

Again, the "Atheist's Nightmare" is a joke, and facts prove to be the Creationist's Nightmare.

Sinko de Mayo!

Today, on mayonnaise independence day, I discovered wasabi mayonnaise. Fantastico!