Corned Beef and Catholic Hypocrisy

It is St. Patrick's Day, a day adopted by American losers as an excuse to get wasted. Many of us need no reason, especially some fake holiday. Sometimes every day deserves a popped cork and a celebration. Still, there are the throngs that need permission from The Man to partake in great imbimbition of Bud Light. Tonight is theirs.

It also is a great day of holy hypocrisy. St. Patrick's Day somehow conjures the desire to consume corned beef and cabbage, a dish that made me puke as a kid. HOWEVER this year St. Patrick's Day falls on Friday during lent, a holy time when Catholics are not allowed to eat meat on Friday. What to do? Honor our allegiance to our faith or engage a great American holiday tradition?

Well, the Bishop of St. Augustine Florida decided to intervene and sort out this great moral dilema. He granted special release from the restrictions of Lent, allowing Catholics to eat their meat.

Yes, religion is all about sacrifice for the Lord, at least until it is inconvenient. Every year I have to endure the tired mantra from my family, "It is Friday and I'd kill for a cheeseburger... oh the hunger pangs..." as they fling themselves under the mighty wheels of God's bus, martyrs for not partaking in the consumption of animal flesh for 24 hours. Oh the pain.

If it is all about sacrifice, then sacrifice. Make this one extra special. Don't touch the corned beef, maybe skip a meal entirely. Maybe buy dinner for a bum or give the money you would have spent on corned beef on a Powerbar and give the rest to someone that needs it. Could a personal sacrifice on a concurrent Lenten St. Patrick's Day be more meaningful?

Wouldn't that make Baby Jesus happier?

Why is it the Catholics always make special consideration for priests and parrishoners that put meat in their mouths that doesn't belong there?

It takes an atheist like me to come up with such stupid ideas.

A Time for Jihad Jerry

After composing myself from the gutwrenching sickness instilled by Devo 2.0, I did a little websurfing and found that Jerry Casale has a new project. It comes at a time when the world needs to revisit the lessons DEVO taught a scant few of us back in the early 80's. Here Jerry continues his personal jihad against stupidity. Thanks Jerry.

www.jihadjerry.com

The Only One Laughing

Do you know that feeling you get when something is truly funny and you laugh, but nobody else gets it? Such was the feeling when I was out grocery shopping today. I got into the shortest line, which happened to also be the loudest. The woman in front of me had a cart full of groceries and a cart full of screaming kid. It was about 2-years old and screaming like a banshee.

The woman clamly told her daughter to quiet down. She reminded her daughter to refrain from screaming. She requested that her daughter quit screeching. Finally she said, "Miranda, you need to be quiet, this is a store".

Then I chimed in, "You have the right to remain silent".

Then all activity in the busy grocery store froze and you could hear nothing but silence and crickets. An uncomfortable void hung in the air for about five seconds before everyone exploded back to work again.

The mom gave me an evil glare. Hey, I wasn't the one that, one, has a screaming kid, and two, named it something punworthy. That kid will hear it for the rest of her life, might as well start now.

I thought it was fucking hilarious.

Schmootzie on Hiatus!`

I never thought I'd get to the point where I could not spend 15 minutes here and there to update the New World Odor. Lately everyday has been a fire drill from eyes open to collapse. I realized I was King Loser when I was standing in the lab with a postdoc and a grad student at 2AM on a Saturday night/Sunday morning.

I also have developed this problem where I ignore the bladder's signals to pee, simply because I don't want to take the time to void. I ignore it once, twice, three times and sometime every afternoon I get into an emergency "NOW!" situation.

I am going to dial it back a little bit, as I have been acruing concepts to be posted here.

**** I predict we will see the terror alert level raised any day now ****