My Harlequin Curriculum Vitae (Part IV)

Part Four of the Trilogy (see previous dates for earlier editions)

Pictures on Sunday!

The clown suit was a staple through college and graduate school. It was a close companion to a good beer buzz and a must before a parade. I remember being completely intoxicated and hopped up on some crap at the NIU Homecoming Parade. Again, a clown suit is like an all-access pass. You can do whatever you want in a festive atmosphere and nobody will tell you "NO".

I ran through the parade causing trouble. I mounted the floats of frats and clubs, then flipped off the crowds. I'd throw candy into the crowds as hard as I could, causing parade watchers to duck and leaving a bloodied trail in the wake of the float. It was my vehicle for evil.

I stole the university president's hat, ran through the banners of marching bands and scarred the hell out of little kids. The best part is, although I was an evil asshole, everybody laughed and said, "Crazy Clown".

Later I would integrate blood capsules. I remember walking around in my clown suit bleeding profusely from my mouth hysterically screaming, "What sick bastards would hurt a clown? Whhhhyyyyy whyyyyyyy??". It was a sad scene. Soon frat dudes would come to my aid and would ask who did it. I'd point out some other loser or an off duty cop. I always liked to watch the wheels come off.

(To be continued)