My Harlequin Curriculum Vitae (Part II)

Part II of the series... Part I was posted Nov 29

Transition from party clown to resturant clown was rocky. No longer did I have the freedom to do whatever I wanted. I had to do it their way. My name was changed from "SQUEEGIE" to "BINGO", consistent with their corporate image and national clown presence. I was just another dork in kabuki face, another sellout in floppy shoes. The parties were long and greuling and after the kids left I was a busboy and cleanup crew. Worse, I worked 8-10 hour days in grease paint, my only break being lunch. Whereas waiters and waitresses got to sit at the bar, the clown had to sit in the stinky basement, "The kids can't see the clown eat"... they'd tell me, like a harlequin's metabolism would be any different.

During their grand re-opening they wanted me to work every night, table magic, balloon animals etc. It was a killer with my school schedule and the kids were brats. I kept hearing "I can see your real hair" and "you're not a clown". The Evil Clown within me was hatching, I saw that the end of the happy SQUEEGIE/BINGO was soon at hand.

I was fired for working babes in the bar. I could make a poodle from balloons that would get a boner and also could make a guy with a giant schlong. Although I was working fantastic woozle 10 years my senior, my minimum-wage managers saw it as inappropriate and fired me.

BINGO was dead...

(continued tomorrow)