My Harlequin Curriculum Vitae (Part I)

I often am asked, "Is the clown bit real or just a facade to make you somewhat interesting?" I respond that my gaily festooned face and circus acoutrements are all real. I tested grease-paint positive years before I could drive and have for 25 years maintained a close connection to the tools of buffoonery.

I came into clowing for all of the right reasons. There are few jobs for 13 year olds, and while other kids cut grass for $3 a lawn (it was the early 80's) I reached for something more. Actually, I still cut the grass for $3 a lawm too, but after the sun would set and the clippings turned to thatch, I would adorn floppy shoes and grease paint as SQUEEGIE and head off to lead children's parties. Insert red flag here if you want to.

With a few twisted balloons and a clownsuit my mom made I could command $100 a shot for a few hours' work. I'd quote parents 100 bucks for an hour and then hang around and essentially babysit a psychotic throng of screaming kids while the folks got plastered. I still made $33.333 per hour and word spread like wildfire that a clown would come to your house and run the party. My calendar filled and I was working a few dates per month. I was making primo coin-- and my mom had to drive me there!

Next I would make the leap from freelance joker to coroporate cut-up. The Ground Round, a restaurant famous for peanuts-on-the-floor merriment hired me to run their kids parties for $10 a hour on a regular schedule... I was 15. It was the Big Time...

(continued tomorrow)