The Medical Benefits of Liquid Wrench

In the days of soaring healthcare costs I'm always eager to test a home remedy or perhaps invent a new one that I can put online and let some hippy test. Last Saturday I would find the physiological manifestations of Liquid Wrench. delivered orally. I explain.

In my great wisdom I figured in 1998 that CD's were just shiny record albums for the masses that would never catch on. Consequently, my truck was not purchased with a CD player, just the "permanent" format of cassette. Now I've graduated to MP3 player and want to use it in my car, so I have a tape-adapter that fits into the slot, allowing me to play MP3's.

Recently the adapter got all to squeakin' and stopped working, so after enduring crappy broken audio for a month I invested 5 minutes to spray the innards of the adapter with Liquid Wrench. Of course, why bring the adapter to the garage when you can bring the Liquid Wrench to the adapter and spray it in the confines of a truck cab?

I sprayed it, it worked fine. However, when I took a long sip from my hot coffee I noticed the distict essence of Liquid Wrench, a pasty checmical flavor that tainted the coffee's taste. Still, I wanted coffee, so I drank all of it and it tasted crappy to the last drop.

My chapped lips were immediately cured and my throat and tongue were numb, much like a combinaiton of chap-stick and chloraseptic. It persisted for 4 hours.

Soon after, I've cured everything from cottom mouth to poison ivy to jungle rot with the stuff. It's a Vicks Vapor Rub for a new century, a daring medicinal for those dim enough to try it.