The Next 9-11: A Prediction

As it is December 7 it may be reasonable to gaze into the crystal ball and posit on the next day that will live in infamy. The next terrorist attack on the United States will not be a plane into a skyscraper. It will not be a nuke in NYC or a dirty bomb in LA. The next attack will silently exploit our collective faults as spoiled Americans in 2004. Collectively we have declined from resourceful, clever, giving people to a selfish, inept, pussified, stupid populace.

An approaching hurricane clears the WalMart shelves. Scared losers will hoard Moon Pies and Pop Tarts, Bud Light and bullets, water and ice; while others are forced to fend for themselves in substandard shelters. When the shit hits the fan a substantial number of Americans develop an "I've got mine, screw you" mentality. A true sustained crisis will divide us faster than a Presidential election.

The next attack will key off of this selfishness, unpreparedness and pervasive woosie-ism. The attack will be modeled after the 1980's Tylenol scare. Essentially, a deadly undetectable poison will be added to 1000 food or medicinal items across the nation over a short time frame. There will be a few in New York City, a handful down the West Coast, and scattered small towns in between. Many people will die before the pattern emerges. The rest of us will lose all confidence in the available supply of food and medicine-- the old stuff in the pantry and medicine cabinet separates you from death. Eating to survive will become Russian roulette. Your next bite could kill you... that's terror.

You say it can't happen, that we are a Christian nation, WWJD?... Sure, there are a few that do the right thing when the chips are down, but I've seen self-proclaimed Christian parents trade punches because of a referee's call in their kids' soccer game. I've seen people with fish on their bumpers race an old man for a parking space and people flip the bird trying to leave a church parking lot. Think about it. I'm not so cynical to say that everyone would do the wrong thing, but when preservation of self is the issue, a substantial number will work for personal gains to the detriment of the whole. When abject survival is on the line, all bets are off.

The scary part is, I have anticipated this for some time, and felt that my fears were so diabolical and real that they best not be broadcast in a public forum. But now the Bush Administration's Health and Human Services Secretary Tommy Thompson recently revealed:

"For the life of me, I cannot understand why the terrorists have not attacked our food supply because it is so easy to do."

Now that the damn cat is out of the bag I feel a little freer to write it down. If I can think of it you KNOW they have. Maybe it is a good impedus to prepare for such an attack. You heard it here first...