It was Crystal Clear to Me

In 8th grade, 1981, I informed Bryon Klinkner (school tough guy) that Rob Halford (front man for heavy metal gods Judas Priest) was gay.

After I got done picking the atomic grundy out of my crack I pondered why I was blessed with the crystal-clear "gay-dar" that Bryon apparently lacked. The sexual orientation of Rob Halford did not require the most resolute observational skills, to me, it was not necessarily a gray area...



Let's see... leather buttless chaps... bullwhip... a leather cap... handcuffs... lyrics like "I’ll bring you to your knees, And give you what you please, I’m gonna shoot it, I’m gonna shoot it”. He was not only light in the leather-studded loafers, we was as gay as a three dollar bill! He was not only a rough-and-tumble burly biker, but a gay rough and tumble burly biker, kicking ass, taking names and belting out metal mayhem. This constituted a strange irony in that most fans were testosterone-oozing, young male gay bashers. Personally, I thought Priest rocked. They were damn good and better when the record was on 45.



The only thing separating him from Freddy Mercury was a pair of Mr. Ed teeth, but the juvenille homophobes of the suburban Chicago metal clique wouldn't buy it. My insistence on his sexual orientation earned me a high school career of daily Wedgies, Grundies, Indian Burns, Hertz Donuts, Purple Hermans and Rear Admirals. I almost got the dreaded Bandit. Bryon Klinkner even took a whiz on my gym suit. Worse yet, I was a fan of Halford and Judas Priest, I only made the mistake of pointing out that the Emperor might be wearing a pushy-up bra.



In 1996, Rob Halford emerged from his thinly-doored closet, a revealation that was met with a collective gasp of surprise from the metal music industry. I again said "Duh". The machismo-soaked metal community was shaken; a revered singer preferred baloney in the can, and some even refused to refer to him as a "front man".



I was right all along. Will I get redemption and an apology at the 25th reunion? Probably not. As usual, I have the revelation 15-20 years before it eventually comes to pass. All I can do is know in my heart that I endured physical abuse, mental torture and angry response to my correct observation, a problem that plagues me to this day.