Todd-- One Nut, No Future

When I was a teenager my family had boxers. Not the underwear, the dogs. One bitch was bred against a good male and puppies were on the way. My little sister was always bugging the shit out of my parents for my mom to have a baby. The plan was my mom would produce a baby brother for my sister and that they'd name it Todd. Great plan, as long as you aren't Todd.

So persistent was the commentary that my parents suggested that we name the first dog born "Todd". The dog was born, it was named "Todd" and it went into the "puppies for sale" basket.

These were show-quality dogs and all were bought quickly, some as pets some as show dogs. Todd showed well as a puppy and had many prospective owners. One judge checked the teeth, checked the ears and the paws. Then she checked the nutsack and found only half a load.

Todd was monorchid, only one testicle descended. The other had to be surgically removed and his show career was over. I suppose if there was going to be a dog named Todd that he'd have only one nut. Later that one would be removed as well, leaving him a eunuch.

It also ended his show career and any hope to sire future generations. Instead, he became a fixture at our house and brought no interest from people that wanted a cute little puppy. We had a several-month old dog without a bag.

We kept Todd, and Todd kept the name Todd. For 12 years my family had a dopey dog with a dopier name.