Go Ahead, Flip Me Off....

Yesterday I was driving down Interstate 75 between Ocala and Wildwood in the left lane, in a 70 mph lane going 85 mph. Some dillhole approaches behind me, clearly going 100 mph+ . He's flashing his lights, honking his horn, riding inches off my bumper and there's nowhere for me to go. I finally get to merge right at which time he blows by me and flips me off. What an asshole.

Ten minutes later I am the only car in hundreds that takes the time to stop on scene at a fresh wreck. Time would reveal that a fast-moving car has liberated itself from the pavement and found residence upside down in an adjacent thicket. A slight plume of smoke indicates danger and I get out of my car and grab a fire extinguisher to perform a daring rescue.

As I venture into the wet weeds I see that it is the dickhead that rode on my ass and so kindly flipped me off. He was half way out of his car, conscious, and excited to realize assistance. He's wearing a black turtleneck with a gold chain and a crucifix on the outside. He has a Justin Timberlake haircut and is pinned in and in agony. As I got closer the engine flamed up and I could feel the heat. I reached to the victim, him screaming "thank god, thank Jesus". I reached into the car, beneath the mangled dashboard and with all of my might pried hard to loosen a pack of cigarettes stuck beneath his big stupid feet. I took out a smoke, threw the rest of the pack at his fucking face and lit the cigarette on his burning engine.

I smoked that cigarette on the hood of my truck and watched the flames consume that asshole and the high-powered vehicle that transported him to his demise. The best part is, I was in full clown regalia. The second best part is, I don't smoke. When I drew it down to a filter I flicked the butt into the raging inferno. Done. Smelled like chicken.

Although I don't believe in God, magic, or karma, I do possess an anchored trust in survival of the fittest and elimination of assholes. Darwin was right. Misgivings generally await those that don't know how to behave themselves. That piece of shit won't spread his defective genes to another generation of assholes and I won't have to put up with them.

Fuck me?

No pal, fuck you.