Rolling Over 40

I never cared much about the aging process. In fact, I denounce our obsession with youth. Nothing is more annoying than youth. I appreciate the wise crustiness time brings, and enjoy the philosophical and emotional armor I've accumulated.

Today however, I see how lame I've become.

I thought we'd do something different - so we went and got ice cream. (lame)

But I'm lactose intolerant, my intestines a volcano if I stand downwind from milk. (old guy)

But I found some Lactaid in the medicine cabinet. (only an old creep would have such things)

Unfortunately it had expired in 2003. (only old people keep expired medicine)

I took it anyway, knowing I may suffer from searing abdominal cramps after eating ice cream and taking expired lactaid. (Livin' la vida loca)